Musings

     I have yet to see Black Swan. It just hasn't happened yet mainly because of Jeff's insane work schedule.  Of course, I can go see it myself, and chances are that I wouldn't mind watching it twice.  But I wait, because when I watch whatever it may be - film, TV show, whatever - before watching it again with Jeff I think it takes a little of the fun out of it for him.  He never says anything and maybe he doesn't actually care, but when the film in question is still in theaters (and not Netflix or hulu) I always wait.
     Is it bad or just telling that after seeing the trailer - after each and every of the 20 or so times I've seen it - I always have this little *wish* in the back of my head, if only I had liked ballet and stayed in lessons, I may have had talent! Pfffft *yeah right* all the talent in the world would not have helped me out endurance-wise with my congenital heart condition.  But I digress.  Along with maybe having talent, I maybe could've been a ballerina by trade not just by imagination.  Most people, I think, have thoughts like these.  The romantic 'what if' train of thought is something I think we all fall prey to from time to time.  But my question - is it bad or merely telling - has not to do so much with the romantic notion of what could have been, the life not lived, the 'path not taken,' as Frost put it.  My main motivator in these thoughts I have of being a ballerina?  They are not inspired by the romanticism of the notion itself, nor from the longing for living in pursuit of the arts.  It's 100% because I would be interacting, both in rehearsal, in shows, and backstage, with male ballet dancers.  There have to be some straight ones, right?